Oh what to do

First, let me warn you that I am working from my phone.  A miscommunication with the dentist's office lost me over an hour.

Now on to the business.  I was supposed to spend the month of July in a meditation of my life and make decisions about what to do with the business.  That didn't happen.  In fact, July was a challenge.

So now I am trying to make decisions with less of a compass than I wanted.  And almost no imput from clients and customers.  So that is what this post is for.  I want imput. What things should I be making, selling, etc.? What price range for services and products are you comfortable with?

I need the imput to help me determine if and how to move this forward. 

Thank you.

In a time of contemplation

There is a lot going on here. So this post will be a bit on the rambling side. 

In March my aunt passed away. It was a blow to most of the family. My mother lost her best friend. I lost a mentor (no one taught me disco like that woman). Her son lost his family. 

It sent me down a road of contemplation. Because when we rallied around family, we paid a price. My son lost his job because his boss felt he was lying. There were other things that were "repercussions" of our choice to be with family in a time of need. And ever since we got back I've been thinking a great deal on the word community. 

I don't have one. Not really. I don't belong to a church, I don't have clubs, I can't do the soccer mom thing. It used to be that we would gather at a friends house and whoever showed up showed up. We had a sort of revolving door of people who would come and share as was comfortable for them. 

I did some research yesterday. There are no community centers in my neighborhood. (7 churches on a two mile stretch of road, but that was just incidental). None. They are across town. Just down the street from me is a low income house/apartment complex, and just down the street from that a retirement center. Two groups that would benefit deeply from a community center. Just a place where we can meet out of the rain. And NOT pay a fortune for coffee. A place where Joe Public can have an idea and share it. A place where he can pay a small fee for classroom space and teach it. 

I just feel lost, adrift. 

There is a part of me that really wants to get back to what this blog was... all about my adventures crafting. I am finding that when I let myself I am pretty clever. But that negative voice that lives in my head, says if I focus on one thing (crafting) I will need to give up the tea business. Only it isn't giving up a business. A business does something. The tea business has done nothing. (Except give a whole lot of free samples). It may be time to put it away for awhile. That feels crushing somehow. 

I don't have answers today. I won't have them tomorrow. I hope to have them in the next 6 weeks.

Ripples

I have been thinking a lot this week about actions, reactions and repercussion. From a positive point of view. 
I do believe that each and every one of our thoughts and actions places effect on the universe. As someone whose faith is Taoist/Buddhist I know that my thoughts create my reality and therefore have effect on my world. But I do not live in a vacuum and my reality will have an effect on every other person around me, and they on the people around them. The ripple effect. 
This can be a very good thing, (and of course a very bad thing, but let's focus on the good). If I make the effort to make as many of my thoughts and actions have a positive effect on the world around me... I can make the world better.
If I actively choose to do as little harm* as possible then I am actively striving to lessen suffering in the world.
All of these can be simple actions. A please and thank you, a smile, a gentle word. For me it is living a vegan life (actively choosing to bring no harm through what I eat to the best of my ability). It means finding a way to strengthen my community, through shopping locally, through my herbal practice, etc.
It does not mean living a life of false happiness. This is more about finding a sense of peace. That deep personal sense of peace. And sharing it. We can, and I am sure we will, talk later about how to find that peace.
For now, let me leave you with the thought"
"May today bring you what you need the most. And may it do so in the gentlest way possible"


*Harm means not just direct actions for me. I know that not only my actions but my words and thoughts  can actually hurt others. If , for instance, my thoughts are negative and my face reflects that, some one may hurt from that. It is a bigger and grander concept that may be addressed later. 

** I am not sure if you can tell, but there is a shift in focus here and there will be more posts like this.

An Active Meditation

Each act we do can become a meditation. Walking, sitting, breathing. There is an intention with the word meditation. I intend to still my mind so that I can find emptiness. I intend to still my mind to banish from it desire. 

I intend to still my mind so that I may find union with the source. It does not matter much what the formal intention is. Because at the base of all mediation is the stilling of the mind. 

I find that I can best achieve a still mind when my hands are busy. For me, simple acts that require no thought are meditation. I still my mind through washing dishes, or pulling weeds. The best meditation I have ever found is stilling my mind and being fully in and of the moment through embroidery. Each stitch is a breathing exercise. Breath in, begin a stitch, breath out, end a stitch. 

This is a simple practice. In all my years of meditation practice it is perhaps the simplest for me. A focus on the task at hand stills the busy cycle of thoughts. It gives me a chance to slip out of the self and into the now. 
 

September 19th, 2013

I am working on my first big art for me project in a long while. I am making an altered book that will be stuffed with mantras and healing art. 

Really, I just made that decision as I was typing this. I have been wanting to make an altered book for quite sometime now. But launching what is essentially two businesses and renovating a house has left no time for art. The last two weeks, though, they were hard.

Things have stalled a bit. And while I am making loads of contacts, I am still not making money (which has to be a part of the process. {More on money as nourishment in a bit}). I am, or was, giving quite a bit of assistance to others and not filling my well. 

I had spent days and days making things for the sales, being on the phone supporting someone I love through a horrid time, and doing all the regular things on my schedule. I was able to crank out a ton of tea for one of the sales...and sold 1. (There is tea in the etsy shop..)

It was a disheartening month. (Fret not, I am down a bit, but never out). It is a reality of the capitalistic world we live in that I need money to make this work. I need funds for supplies, I need funds for space. And I need funds to pay my personal bills. 

And this is where the idea of money for nourishment comes in. I need money to make the things happen that will nourish my spirit to continue my work. At some point in the future, I believe that the business will become self supporting. But for now... there is a balance I am trying to strike. The money gives me space to do this. It nourishes my spirit, in a sense, by giving me the ability to move through to the next phase. This will be an idea that we explore more at a later date, I think. 

Now, onto the art bit... like I said, I have wanted to make an altered book for a long time. I just never took the plunge. Now is the time. I found a book that liked the shape of. And have been working on the base.

I realized that if I have something that is physical to show some of the things I can do, that it might be the breakthrough that I need. The vision is there and there will be a ton of photos as I go. Mantras, scribbles, labyrinths, and I hope, movement.

The Memory of Scent

As I work on integrating this blog with my business, you can expect more lengthy wordy sorts of posts. Posts that will help tell you what I do as an herbal and intuitive healer.

I work with scent. A lot with scent. I think I always have. When I am thinking of teas to start working on one of the ways that I know I am on the right track is that I smell it. It does not matter where I am, I will smell the new thing I am working on and that is how I know it is done.

Scent is a powerful trigger. It reminds of us of good times and bad. The smell of a heirloom rose can remind us of the neighbor who used to babysit. We all have experienced our mouth watering at the scent of a well cooked meal. I would bet that most of us remember the smell of loved ones.

One of my first memories of scent is that of my grandmothers house. But not just her house. A very small tiny part of her house. One that reminds me of being safe. My grandmother had a gigantic king sized bed. When we visited I would nap there. The head board was where she kept some nick-nacks and perfume bottles and books and all the things one would keep on a head board. As a toddler I would play with them all. One of the perfumes was a paste style that was housed in a tiny little decorative birds nest. I would open it and smell it all the time.

And long ago when we were out and about running errands there was an explosion. We were actually quite close to where it happened. I remember watching the smoke and the fire. I remember turning around and going home to listen to the news. There was concern about future explosions and poison gas. So the news told us to stay away from windows. So they put us children down for a nap in grandma's room. I was 7 and too old to nap, but still to young to be in the glass filled living room of my grandmothers house. And I think it made my mother feel better to have me in with my younger siblings and cousin.

I was concerned. I had listened to Mom and Grammie talk. They could not get a hold of Dad. Or my aunt. So I calmed myself with smelling all of Grammies perfume. The little  bird nest was my favorite.

I still own the little bird nest. It sits on the desk in my studio. And when I am stressed I still sit with it and smell it. It still smells. It smells like Grammies, and saftey. And it reminds me of all of the things that Grammie means.

Healing is about finding what is good and whole and safe in us. That little bird nest is where I started.

Preparing for Autumn

It is the second day of grey skies here. It certainly brings to mind my favorite time of year...AUTUMN. When the days are still warm and lovely, but the nights are cold. When the first rain brings me petrichor. When the leaves change and light up the world around me in oranges and yellows.

I love autumn. And I love to decorate for it. So I make banners (those will be later) and pumpkins.
Because of who I am I also stuff those things with pouches of scent (pumpkin pie of course).

There will be more of these and they are all for sale. So feel free to message me if you want one.

Friendly reminder that I do commission work.

Check out www.urbantaoherbals.etsy.com