There is a lot going on here. So this post will be a bit on the rambling side.
In March my aunt passed away. It was a blow to most of the family. My mother lost her best friend. I lost a mentor (no one taught me disco like that woman). Her son lost his family.
It sent me down a road of contemplation. Because when we rallied around family, we paid a price. My son lost his job because his boss felt he was lying. There were other things that were "repercussions" of our choice to be with family in a time of need. And ever since we got back I've been thinking a great deal on the word community.
I don't have one. Not really. I don't belong to a church, I don't have clubs, I can't do the soccer mom thing. It used to be that we would gather at a friends house and whoever showed up showed up. We had a sort of revolving door of people who would come and share as was comfortable for them.
I did some research yesterday. There are no community centers in my neighborhood. (7 churches on a two mile stretch of road, but that was just incidental). None. They are across town. Just down the street from me is a low income house/apartment complex, and just down the street from that a retirement center. Two groups that would benefit deeply from a community center. Just a place where we can meet out of the rain. And NOT pay a fortune for coffee. A place where Joe Public can have an idea and share it. A place where he can pay a small fee for classroom space and teach it.
I just feel lost, adrift.
There is a part of me that really wants to get back to what this blog was... all about my adventures crafting. I am finding that when I let myself I am pretty clever. But that negative voice that lives in my head, says if I focus on one thing (crafting) I will need to give up the tea business. Only it isn't giving up a business. A business does something. The tea business has done nothing. (Except give a whole lot of free samples). It may be time to put it away for awhile. That feels crushing somehow.
I don't have answers today. I won't have them tomorrow. I hope to have them in the next 6 weeks.
